Well… I am not looking forward to tommorow very much at all, as it will be the first of many goodbyes.
Every Thursday fortnight, Family Day Carers gather with their little ones for Playgroup.
I have attended almost every single Playgroup session since the beginning of my time with Eurobodalla Family Day Care.
Each visit is welcomed with much fun & excitement from the little treasures in my care.
We toddle off in the VS wagon with Happy Smiles & Red Hats adorned. Anxiously anticipating the moment we pull up at the kerb & spy the Activities that are awaiting our little hands & the friends who have arrived earlier than us!
We have craft activities presented for us to experience & enjoy, books in a lovely book corner to sit & read, a HUGE Home Corner to enact our daily routines & roleplay our most impressionable ones, many toys to stimulate our curiosity & learning & wonderful playmates to share it all with.
Caring staff that organise each session for our arrival, social interaction between other carers & their children & a nice warm cuppa to spin a yarn or have a whinge(!) over.
Who wouldn’t enjoy Playgroup each fortnight????!!!!
Sadly, tomorrow is my very last Playgroup as a carer. We have a picnic organised at Broulee, as long as the sun graces us warmingly & lovingly & I am hoping that as the session draws to a close, it will be like just a normal Playgroup ending by waving goodbye to each other & sharing a smile.
I do not want a farewell goodbye as such as Firstly, I will see everyone again & hopefully on a regular basis.
Secondly, I will become a blubbering mess & the young’ns in my care may be shocked at seeing their main support system in care crying, & possibly not understand.
Thirdly, because I will be driving back from Playgroup through town & along the Highway & prefer a clear head when making trips with these tiny & vulnerably dependant souls in my car.
So… just keep the brave face strong.
I don’t think it will last, but one can only try.
I mean, seriously… how easy is it to hide a breaking heart?
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12:47 am
Oh baby, I feel bad for taking you away from the little dudes and dudettes. I know you feel the same way about my move to Sydney. I think we will be shedding a few tears over the coming weeks, but it is a pain we have to go through in order to be together forever. Also, as you say we will be regular visitors to Batemans Bay, and hopefully will see all the gang regularly.
I love you and I am sorry you are hurting at the moment.
7:49 pm
Ok….
I made it through the day with NO TEARS!
But, it did get quite emotional saying goodbye at Playgroup (with Lee-Ann breaking into tears on my shoulder during a hug forcing me to swallow hard & place my mind in another place), which as hoped was not a big event.
The children enjoyed the morning running around, playing games & climbing on the recreational equipment available.
We had a special birthday cake for non other than… MY BOI!!!!
Hehe.
He turned 3 today & it was definately an honour to share it with him.
Speaking of, I have just returned home from helping him celebrate it with close family & friends at his house. It was a privilege to be invited to this occasion & he loved his new HRT Crew Kit which was assembled with the help of several children & his brother & sister. I hope they all enjoyed the task as much as mum & I enjoyed the look upon this little man’s face when he received it.
This present when seen in store, was definately the perfect gift for Mum, Dean & myself to give him, considering our departure from his life on such a scale which is ahead.
Hopefully everytime he looks at it, for just one fleeting moment our faces will come into his mind lovingly.
We love u very much our boi & when we have a little boy, I sincerely hopes he grows to be just like you.
You have touched a very special place in my heart & will stay there for as long as it beats.
As with ALL the children that have come into my care, I love you all & will miss you all terribly, but am looking forward to visiting regularly to see how you have all grown.
5:41 pm
The Girls night was fantastic!
The 3 girls were all excited to be staying together & doing the activities we did.
By the end of the night I was just as tired as the 3 children, if not more! So at 9pm we brushed our teeth, climbed into bed, I read a book “I Miss You Stinky Face ~ Written by Lisa McCourt & Illustrated by Cyd Moore”, & off went the lamp after a few goodnight kisses & hugs.
Before a matter of minutes I could hear snoring coming from the lounge next to where my bed was & the 2 girls sleeping on matresses on the floor were having a giggle & holding hands briefly before snuggling down & dozing off into a lulling slumber. This is where I met them in dreamland until a short time later when I woke to ring Dean, place a log on the fire & snuggle back in for a few more Z’s.
Early hours saw me stoking the fire again & tucking little bodies back under light blankets.
Sunrise met me as I stirred & I found 1 of my littlins doing the exact same thing, waking for the day.
At 7am she climbed onto the lounge with me for a cuddle & a chat about many things, particularly girly topics. Earings & most jewellery & the like!
As each girl woke slowly over a 1 & a half hour period, we made breakfast, had showers &/or got dressed ready for the day & before too long were saying our goodbyes to the early riser.
We got ourselves into shoes & jackets to venture out into the cool wintery morning, clambered into the car & 1 by 1 dropped each remainder girl home to their smiling & very proud parents.
I went on to spectate a soccer match, played by a Mighty Man who has been in my life for several years & I have watched him grow from a mere 6 month old bub.
After the game we went to Lunch & enjoyed the midday sun as we ate outdoors at The Starfish Deli in Batemans Bay.
During conversation I mentioned to mum who is a very dear & trusted friend that the following week will NOT see me saying “Goodbyes” but merely “See you when im down next”….
This did not happen when it came to actually depart & I found myself in the middle of the street bawling my eyes out!
This does not come as a shock to me nor many of you i’m sure!
So I am glad that whilst shopping over the weekend for necessities, I bought a new box of Aloe Vera + Vitamin E tissues. They will come in handy for myself, mum & those that are saying their goodbyes to us during the forthcoming week. Even though I can’t stop the heartache or tears.. I can stop the nose rashes!
7:14 pm
Last night I spent most of the night waking to remind myself everything would be ok today when saying goodbye to my little mate E. Finding out yesterday that she was emotional about the coming week a few times over the weekend was not something I enjoyed hearing.
So… all day yesterday I reassured myself.. all night I told myself each time I woke that I would be ok & would stay strong.
Upon waking early hours.. I was feeling good about the ordeal ahead.
Showering, I kept telling myself “Your feeling good! There’s no tears even close! Your gonna stay this strong all day & it will ALL be ok.”
My main concern is keeping brave for the children.
Then I made the untimely mistake of coming online to check emails & sip my cuppa whilst awaiting the arrival of my little buddies due at 8.30am.
When anyone adds a picture, I receive an email message informing me.
Also My Boi’s mum emailed me regarding the site.
So… I came here to check out the page… & immediately smiled through teary eyes as I read the last post added here by Boi’s Mum.
Then I went to look at the picture.
My heart tore into tiny shreds when the pic loaded. My whole wall of strength came tumbling down around me & I was left bawling my eyes out for roughly half an hour.
Although I was left in a teary mess, I do very much appreciate the post & picture left. I will always look upon it with warmth & fondness.
The rest of the day went fairly smoothly, till it was time to deliver E home. I asked my mum to come & say goodbye to E & asked E if she could give Margie a little cuddle. E blew kisses to Margie, then gave her a hug. Mum told her that she would miss her very much & E replied basically the same. At this moment I was again brought to tears & tried my best to hide it.
On the drive to E’s departure point, I managed to gather my strengths again & get rid of the tears.
I managed to keep them at bay during our goodbye, until E presented me with a wonderful Chocolate Cupcake with a Holden Peter Brock childrens toy ring in the middle on top! (A pic of this will be added to the Pictures Page shortly)
The tears welled, I grabbed her for her cuddle, asked her to write to me as I would write next week, turned to mum for a quick cuddle & quickly ushered out the door towards the car in the dark of night breaking into those well held back tears.
I lovingly placed the cupcake into my HRT drink holder where it safely travelled back to my house. I was in the middle of a call from a beloved friend in QLD as I came into the house & held the cupcake out for mum to look at. She quickly eyed it & pulled off the ring… the look of disbelief on my face of her doing so mustnt have registered with her… as she looked at me & said without flinching “Did you get one too?”