I am having a bad moment.. a small amount of time that is wearing me down. With a few things going on at the moment I just feel like curling up & disappearing.

I know I will be fine. I know my inner strength will eventually get me through this. that is the way I will be pathing my way through. I just wish it could be easier. The journey I am on right now is a bumpy & rocky one that has been moving slowly for a few years now. We have had many emotional turns along the way, many highs & a helluva lot of lows! Not knowing what lays at the end is the scary part. Let’s hope it is a good ending.

Over the past months, many things have happened. We have moved residence. My Sister In Law moved to her own home. Dad In Law moved over from Western Australia. I’ve finally changed jobs!
No doubt many of these topics I could write hours on. Someday, maybe I will. For now.. i’ll keep with the update.

My spare time is spent daydreaming LoL. I have spent time making cakes several months ago for workmates Birthdays & even though I know I am not very talented in the creative & ideas department, I found myself really enjoying this expensive hobby.
I have been researching into buying an Airbrushing system and a icing printer. I was almost ready to make my purchase for a Kopykake Airmaster system, until today.

We finally went to our first fertility appointment in over 2 years. This time much closer to home. We met Dr David Greening. He is a wonderfully jovial man with what seems to be a good kind & caring nature. We felt extremely comforted by his mannerism & it reminded us much like Prof. John Eden & our first meeting with him.
Dean & I were very happy with our outcome today, which wasn’t much to be honest with you. But as it was an initial consult, we left feeling like we have some direction. We have some tests to repeat for him & hopefully by the end of September at our next visit we might have some clear answers & indication of where to next.
It isn’t that we didn’t get the help like this before, in fact it isn’t dissimilar from where we were approx. 3 years ago. But as time has passed & age has grown on us a little more, we ultimately don’t have a lot of “breathing room” left, so to speak. The results we discussed today, although brief were good news to say the least. So hopefully from here we can only move on & into better places.

I will try to continue to blog more often as I once did. I kinda miss it to be honest! The motivation just doesn’t strike me as much as it once did & the drive just hasn’t been there. Excuses? I say YES!

Gonal-f® RFF Pen

Okies,  Update time.

We are 1 week in to our first IUI cycle. This is how our week has ran so far:

• Fri 05/06/09    DAY 1/CD5      – 75iu Gonal Follitropin Alfa self injection
• Sat 06/06/09    DAY 2/CD6      – 75iu Gonal Follitropin Alfa self injection
• Sun 07/06/09   DAY 3/CD7     – 75iu Gonal Follitropin Alfa self injection
• Mon 08/06/09  DAY 4/CD8     – 75iu Gonal Follitropin Alfa self injection
• Tues 09/06/09 DAY 5/CD9      – 75iu Gonal Follitropin Alfa self injection + Blood Test = Low Levels
• Wed 10/06/09 DAY 6/CD10    – 75iu Gonal Follitropin Alfa self injection
• Thurs 11/06/09 DAY 7/CD11  – 75iu Gonal Follitropin Alfa self injection + Blood Test = Low Levels
• Fri 12/06/09 DAY 8/CD12        – Increased Dosage 112.5iu Gonal Follitropin Alfa self injection

The IUI Cycle

I haven’t left a response regarding our IVF Clinic appointment. The main reason being that we were left feeling a little disapointed with the outcome even though we are moving forwards still. I won’t go into great detail. However we are embarking now on a 3 month journey of Clomid. I have been prescribed 100mg for the next 3 months, though the Dr only gave us a script for 2? We had some routine Blood work done & we had to give a sample of swimmers for a trial wash. This is to find out the count, morphology & motility of the little fellas.
We had to make an appointment on June 2nd for the results. We will also have had a Day 21 Blood Test done by this time which will tell us wether I actually ovulated due to the Clomid or not. We are of course hoping that by this stage we may have fallen pregnant with our first dose of Clomid. Therefore will not have to continue any more cycles & will have our own little munchkin finally on the way.

So all in all it is a very exciting time again, one that hopefully allows a miracle to occur. Our little miracle.

I love this video so much it brings a tear to my eye!

I am about to blog about something that has become top priority in our lives for some time now & something I have basically ignored blogging about for many reasons. I guess mainly for our own personal reasons. But I have come to a time in this rollercoaster where I am not afraid to share my story or ask questions. However I will keep it to some point of privacy for all of our families.

SK & I are going through a long journey TTC. We have been through many highs & lows so far with no doubt plenty more to come. Some of you may already be aware of this & no doubt most of you will have seen my tickers at the top of the page.

So far we have had many tests, minor surgeries, lots of dashed hopes & far too many sticks to pee on to count! It has been such an emotional road. But we manage it together without a second thought. At no point has this become a chore & we both give each other the same love & affection we always have since our love first blossomed. I couldn’t have a more wonderful partner by my side. I am eternally grateful & sincerely honoured.

Our next chapter of this journey will be in the hands of medical professionals at IVF Australia @ St George Private Hospital. Currently we are anxiously awaiting the arrival of referrals in the mail. Then we can make phone calls & appointments as needed. Our next step is IUI.

In the meantime I am documenting my cycles yet again & keeping my positive train of thought. I am reading many different stories from websites & forums & am watching inspirational & educational videos on youtube in my spare time.

Please keep in mind we have tried everything from doing absolutely nothing more than the typical baby making tasks (!) to taking medications for other medical conditions that have influenced our infertility. We are told over & over again by many a folk who in their best way offer us advice & their way of support by “reminding” us not to stress, not to try so hard, to let nature take its course etc etc. We do appreciate all the support on hand to us & understand it can be hard to comment on such news as infertility issues. The fact that someone goes to such trouble to offer their advice goes to show how much they obviously care.
However we have tried everything possible over the past 3 years (check the ticker at the top for a more approximate guess LOL) with no luck.

So with great pleasure I offer you a lovely video. Sit back with a cuppa & enjoy the next 7 minutes of your life.
I don’t understand the subtitles but I do understand how witnessing such a miracle take place will make me a better person if & when it is my time to perform a miracle

Enjoy  )

My Blog has recently become a little dormant. I do apologies for not updating as much.
The reason being that atm, basically I can’t focus on much else but our infertility & trying to conceive a baby.
I begin my day as normal, however am finding that I can’t even do house chores without stopping & running to my laptop to look up something else or even watch a video on YouTube. Therefore I would only be blogging multiple posts on my thoughts or what I may have found. I’m sure it would bore most of you!

I have however started a TTC Diary which can be found on the BubHub Forums. I’ve linked to this so if anyone is actually interested in having a read, they can do it away from my blog. I warn you, you’ll need a cuppa! LOL
I have found & learnt from a lot of information from other people on this forum, by reading tonnes of threads. Mostly these are people that all share a common factor – Parenthood or the want of. Personal stories, advice & support can be sought from this site & hopefully you may find it useful for your own use. I can’t speak highly enough of this forum & what it offers.

On a different note, Duff is in Perth for the week & the house is quite different without her here! She will be coming back on a 6am flight arriving in Sydney at midday. I am not realy looking forward to this trip due to WYD events, but I do hope the airport & surrounding roads will be calm on Saturday, long enough for us to get in & get out!

We had a Rental Inspection of the house yesterday & was curious to learn that the Agent from our Real Estate doing the inspection is new & she actually took photos of inside our house as she wondered through it, telling my Mother-In-Law to go & continue what she was doing so she could wonder about alone. I am unsure why this happened & didn’t ask as I was actually showering when she was here & I did not meet her. But it irks me a little that she did take photos, not that we have anything to hide as we look after the property as expected, however the R.E has photos of the property in great detail from just before us moving in. Why do they need photos now? No photos were taken last time anyone did an inspection here nor did we receive any information that this was going to occurr. I would assume if any photos were needed that it would have been on something needing a repair? Especially considering they already have photos as mentioned before. I am left scratching my head.

I pose this question; Does this invade our privacy as tenants? ‘Cos it sure feels like it!

My niece L arrived here Tuesday evening & my niece H arrived on Thursday evening. They enjoyed a relaxing stay with us & went home Saturday evening. I always enjoy having them stay with us & they are such good girls. The love we have for them is immense & they are always welcome to come spend time with us.

Because of our current financial situation we could not afford to take them out to do the typical school holiday stuff. However we did take them Tenpin Bowling again which is an activity they realy enjoy being involved in with us. This opportunity also allowed me to have a throw, which was my first since the surgery. I believe I bowled ok & I had no pain or after-effects so I was quite happy with that. I shall be back playing League as of this week.

After dropping the girls home, we went to Bunnings to pick up Duff from work & take her to the airport. She flew out to Perth for a one week holiday where she will catch up with Dad & her friends. In particular & the main reason this holiday has been scheduled for several months is that her Best Friend K had a baby girl 5 weeks ago. We hope Duff takes many photos while there so we can “Oooh” & “Ahhh” at her piccies since we can’t be there ourselves for a cuddle. Not sure if one week will be enough for Duff to catch up with everyone, however we know she will make the most of it!

On the homefront, I have started documenting our TTC on FertilityFriend.com . I have such irregular cycles & I cannot predict my cycle lengths. I need to track everything so closely now & it isn’t always so easy when your body simply doesn’t do what is expected. Because of my PCOS I have trouble ovulating. To stimulate this I am taking Metformin XR 500mg (slow release) x3 per night to reduce my insulin levels & encourage Ovulation. I have been taking Metformin XR for several months now however I am realy bad at remembering to take my meds & often miss a night or 3. Since the surgery & the good news about my tubes, I have been taking them religiously & look at our situation in a refreshingly new manner.

Friday I started using an Ovulation Test Kit.
Result = Neg.
Saturday’s result = Pos!
A positive result means my FSH levels show I should be ready to Ovulate within the next 24-36 hours. I am very excited & as you can probably guess…. ShadowKnight & I are focused only on Baby Making! LOL

I am trying not to get my hopes up too much as I have shown signs of Ovulating before (my PCOS only tends to allow me to ovulate 2-3 times per year give or take) with no success afterwards. I now put this down to the fact that my tubes were blocked previously, therefore… when I could supply the Gas I could not get it to the Oven!

Send us as much Baby Dust/ Good Vibes/Magic as possible & hopefully within the near future we can have a “Bun in the Oven baking nicely”